At the beginning of this process, I truly believed that I did not need to know WHY I had an eating disorder. I believed that the only important issue was HOW do I deal with it and recover from it, and although that was the most important thing in the beginning, I soon found out that it was just important for me to delve into what I call, Core Issues.

Core Issues are all of the buried, suppressed things that have been swept under the rug. As I began to deal with my surface issues, as I began to build coping skills and as I gained confidence and overcame the purge, and then the binge…my core issues slowly started to reveal themselves.

There were issues that I thought I had dealt with already, there were issues I was aware of and had buried and there were issues that I didn't even known I had.

Old hurts, old wounds, things that had happened years before erupted to the surface and I was faced with a decision; I could either deal with the deep rooted issues that had been causing me pain for over 3 decades, or I could sweep them back under the rug and hope that I could return to my old life.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do at the beginning. It hurt, I stalled, I froze and stopped working on my book, my website and my life; I shut down.

Finally, I went back and read my healing journals from the previous year. A friend had given me some advice a few months before; since I hadn't been stuck at the time, it didn't seem that profound. Reading it a second time, was.

It went something like this: